Though it has been three years, and though I have come a long way, I still find connecting and relating to people a difficult task.

I've spent a good portion of my life as an island, only letting in so many people at one time. Even then, I wouldn't allow them to see too much of the landscape.
I hate being vulnerable.

I do not think there is anything wrong with vulnerability; in fact, I think that being able to open your heart to a stranger is a remarkably courageous thing to do.
Because I can't do it.

I am not a brick wall, and I am not cold and unfeeling.
I'm just hiding in a thicket, waiting for someone to come find me.

One day, I'm going to prune these hedges and I'll step out naked as the day I was born, completely raw and exposed.
Someone will find my hide repulsive, and someone will find beauty in this canvas and paint me in all the colors that they think in.



For now, I'll just keep trimming.